I’ve found myself saying this more and more recently. Being an interracial individual who is considered “white passing” (a phrase I absolutely hate), I’ve dealt with varying degrees of racism. It seems though that recently I’ve dealt with more watered down versions, microaggressions, the whole “I’m not racist but…” thing, and from people I’d never expect if from. This honestly scares me more than the outwardly racist people I’ve encountered.
I feel like I’ve been deceived when someone I’ve known for years tells me it’s “okay because I can barely tell your dad is black” or “you’re lucky your hair isn’t too coarse” and the worst one “do you relate more to your black side or your white side?” Like I am 2 halves and not a complete person; as if it’s possible to be compartmentalized by race. And anytime I try to educate people about how harmful even microaggressions can be, I get written off as a “loud mouth feminazi” “social justice warrior” or that I’m trying to be “edgy” or “trendy”.
This is not a trend for me, this has been my life since a male nurse refused to help my mother during my birth because of my father’s skin color, since I got picked on after kids saw my parents and other siblings (my older brother and sister have a different father), since until recently there was no option on forms regarding race and I had to write in “other”. So I will continue to be a loud mouth, I will continue to make people uncomfortable, and I will continue to try to use people’s hate to educate them.