It’s another full moon, and we all know what that means….the ladies get together with bottles of vino, cheese and other nibbles, for no reason other than to gossip!! Mostly about each other, but they do it in such a way, that who ever is being gossiped about, hasn’t a clue it’s her.
After a lot of catching up with each other, it was ‘down to business’. Who’s been doing who? Who’s the new lady at the nail Salon (such a bitch), and anyone getting divorced, having an affair, Husbands misbehaving? Oh, the girls have to know it all!
Then someone gave ‘ol Sally a fresh glass of vino with a fake smile, just to ensure she didn’t suspect that the current ‘OMG!’ gossip was about her Husband Tom who wears holy underpants, because he’s such a penny pincher he refuses to purchase new ones, and Sally, angry and disgusted, won’t stitch the holy ones! How do we know this?
Well, Phyllis went to visit Sally one morning, just as she was hanging out the washing, only to see Tom’s holy underpants. Of course she asked about them, and Sally told her the whole story. She didn’t think Phyllis would tell on! We are talking about a fickle crowd here, not unlike all ‘girls nights get togethers’.’sssshhhh Phyllis!!!’ oh dear, too late, Sally has overheard. ‘Give her more wine, all our men wear crappy underwear’ shouted Linda.
The girls were screeching with laughter, wine flowing freely, when suddenly, at the stage when everyone was 10 sheets to the wind, Annie decided to tell the group that she was having an affair!
Ah Oh! The screeching came to a halt, all heads cocked in the direction of Annie, eyebrows crossed dying to know more! ‘Who is he? how long has this been going on? why? was the sex good?’ and so on…..Annie gave a nervous cough, and said, ‘Girls, it might surprise you all to know, that I have a toy boy, and Peter doesn’t suspect a thing!’
‘OMG’ said tiny Terri. ‘How? who is he? where’d you find him? tell all!!’ Annie felt quite proud of herself for bagging a handsome young fella 15 years her junior, but when she told the girls that he was the local grocers Son, they all collapsed! ‘hahahahaha is that it? the freaken grocers son? get serious! does he stink like broccoli? they aren’t very clean I hear are they?’ and the comments continued in-between shrieks of laughter, where there was a teeny bit of jealousy before.
Well, that did it. Annie got up in a huff, held her head up high, straightened her skirt and left, but not before she turned around with a smirk and said ‘girls, a grocers Son works with all sorts of textures, hard as well as soft all day. Carrots, cucumbers, broccoli, tomatoes and so much more, all that, and don’t you know that food, when prepared by expert hands, is a marvellous aphrodisiac? oh well, I shall leave this much to your basic imaginations’………The room went quiet, everyone looked puzzled, and tiny Terri couldn’t take her eyes off of a spot on the carpet…………..’more wine anyone??’