Have you ever had to attend an event that you really really don’t want to attend? I mean, you don’t know half the people, and you’re not even vaguely interested in what they gossip about. You don’t ‘wear the same fashion’, coz to you, clothes are something to cover the body with, and if they have some colour, well that’s nice.
IF you want to rock out, and pretend you own Chanel or Stella McCartney numbers, there are ways to do this…beware though! Apparently it’s illegal…like all fun things are.
Okay, so I had to go to this event. OMG, panic hit me so hard in the guts I almost puked just thinking about it. I don’t DO people very well. But I couldn’t get out of this one, so I had to come up with a ‘plan’….
I thought I was a genius when I decided that I’d download really cool tunes onto my phone, then, I’d wear jeans and shirt with a collar to the event. Then I’d stick my phone in my pocket, take the earphones up, underneath my shirt, so no one could see them, and as my hair is long, they wouldn’t see that I had the earphones in my ears, rocking to good shit, while they all gossiped about crap. I reckoned if I just occasionally looked up and nodded and kind of smiled, and put a look of interest on my face, then kinda laughed when a saw them all laughing, I’d be super cool with this! They’d never know right?
WRONG! – when I passed my brilliant genius plan along to my friend, she frantically emailed back with a NO NO NO!! Why? well, yeah, my plan is genius alright, but……..as she wrote ‘If one of them comes to you to talk, and you just nod and smile, they’re gonna think you’re just plain stupid, and tell everyone else. Then, when you see them laughing, they’re probs laughing at you! The stupid one, who lamely nods and giggles at the wrong time all the time. In fact, you’d become the party prop!
Hysterically, I cancelled my plan, and decided I’d have to just pretend, something I often have to do. BUT…I don’t DO people!! (I heard the voices cry)….
So I canned the plan, stuck my jeans and shirt on, and tried very hard to be quiet. Unfortunately, my Bipolar then waged it’s spiteful war on my brain, and I, instead of being quiet, had to be asked to be quiet, coz I wouldn’t shut the f….k up! Of course I thought I was funny, clever even….sadly, I still ended up the ‘stupid party prop’!
Next time, I’ll take lots of twitchies, so that I’m just quiet and dribble on my shoes, OR, feign a serious mind blowing headache and simply not go. Which is what I should’ve done in the first place! duh!