Black Feathers

Black Feathers

When depression sets in, it seems like you have been dropped in a maze

All around you, you can hear and feel happiness

But you keep rounding corners and smacking in to walls

It knocks you down, and you scream at yourself to get up

But your legs decided today just wasn’t their day

The worst part is knowing that it was okay

The worst part is feeling your smile decay

In the maze, you smell delicious food, but it turns your stomach

You can hear people laughing

your brain whispers, they’re laughing at you

So smiles and laughter make you run into those walls a little harder

They make you scream a little louder to just…fucking…stop…

When you have depression, there’s a black bird on your shoulder

It pecks you every time you try to move forward

It snatches the good from everything and feeds it to itself

While it shits on your shirt

When you have depression, you try as hard as you can

To make someone else smile

To make someone else laugh

To make someone else’s day brighter

When you have depression, all you want

is for no one else to feel the way you do

They say the black bird is the messenger of Apollo

They say it’s a sign of good fortune

I don’t know the luck in not giving a fuck

But I guess depression can make me a nicer person

I can say with truth, that I would not wish this on my worst enemy

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

I just whisper, hold on a little longer

Eventually, maybe my brain will stop begging me to kill myself

In the meantime, I’ll let that bird devour all my joy

As I practice smiling, because I’d rather try

to make the world bright, when I can’t find light

I can’t find the sun, behind the clouds

I can’t find happiness inside the maze

But, it hasn’t killed me yet

No regret

I’ll just keep…..

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One thought on “Black Feathers

  1. You still feeling down? I’d love to help you out of that if you are. Truthfully I’ve been out of depression now for almost a month after severe depression the last 6 months but none the less to feel again is the best feeling ever after being depression so long I went emotionless and dull. But life goes on and gets better. Don’t give up or give in. You just got to be happy and don’t let the few little good things go for granted and you’ll begin feeling a small ease a bit at a time. Even the little bits add up and smiling and laughter and friends are the best things for fighting trust me. 😀

    Like

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